Nessie is a womanizing homewrecker, and we aim to tell the world!

In this second parody of tabloids, we go after all that dwells underwater.

Find out what Fish Men are good for. Discover what sog monkeys do after dark. Join us for a giant squid orgy and learn about the world's largest douchebag!

Here are five stories by S.D. Hintz and Jerrod Balzer, along with three by guest authors Garry Charles, Mike Jones, and Steve Vernon - who provided a twisted Captain Nothing tale.

Do you hear the Sirens' call yet?  Order your copy now!

86 page 6 X 9 

Perfect Bound Paperback

Tabloid Terrors 2:  

Nessie Tried to Pimp My Wife

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"What in the blue fuck...?  I can't decide if Nessie is pure genius or the insane scribblings of some truly twisted nuts. I suspect that it's most likely a little of both. I laughed... I cried... I threw up a little in my mouth. If that's not a ringing endorsement then I don't know what is."

~Bob Freeman, author of Shadows Over Somerset and Keepers of the Dead

"From warped, delightful imaginations come sick, savage tales that will leave you grinning. Tabloid Terrors brings fake journalism to a new low. Don't let these people date your daughter..."

~Scott Nicholson, author of The Skull Ring

"Squeamish readers and calamari-phobics beware--TabloidTerrors 2 is highly offensive and distasteful fun!  Sea creatures around the planet are conspiring revenge against the writers, so when reading this book it is advisable to avoid all bodies of water including lochs, streams, oceans, geysers and bathtubs.  Don't say I didn't warn you!"

~Fran Friel, Bram Stoker Award finalist and author of Mama's Boy and Other Dark Tales.

Sasquatch is real.  His feet are as big as they say, but so is his... lust.

In this first book of the dark humor series spoofing on tabloids, you'll see Bigfoot as you've never imagined.

Read how they terrorize Eskimos in theArctic regions and grumpy old men in the Florida swamps.  Learn ofstrange variations as they rampage through a castle party and battleFreakenstein as the Hairless Undead.

You will laugh, cringe, scream,vomit; it might even turn some of you freaks on.  One thing is certain:  The images will haunt you forever.

Here are seven tales by S.D. Hintz and Jerrod Balzer, with an eighth story by Mark McLaughlin.

Don't know much about Bigfoot?  Don't miss the informative introduction by Michael McCarty.

76 page 6 X 9 

Perfect Bound Paperback

Tabloid Terrors:  

I Was A Sasquatch Sex Slave

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Note:  All profits from the Tabloid Terrors Series go directly into the press to help fund future projects.  We appreciate your support!

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'What the fuck is this shit?' Brian Keene, author of Ghoul and Dead Sea.

'If you haven't been a sasquatch love slave then read this book and find out what you're missing. It's like a warm furry scrotum wrapped lovingly around your heart.'  

Carlton Mellick III, author of The Menstruating Mall 

'I swear ... if Balzer and Hintz ever ask me to read something like this again, I'll put my boot in their asses!' 

Cullen Bunn, creator of The Damned

'Sasquatch has never been so weird, or so funny!' Brian Knight, author of Hacks and Broken Angel 

"You probably wouldn't think it was possible to fill an entire book with nothing but disgusting stories about kinky Bigfoot sex. You, sir or madam, would be wrong. This is the type of book where you read a story, gag, shake your head sadly at the state of humanity, then dive right into the next tale and repeat the read/gag/shake head sadly process anew. Reading this book is like having a one-night-stand with a partner who has eighteen different venereal diseases: Fun at the time, but when it's all over you'll scream 'What have I done?!?' at the heavens."  

Jeff Strand, author of Pressure and Disposal.

Check out these excerpts from  I Was A Sasquatch Sex Slave!

WARNING!  There are penises.

From "Abominable Snow Woman Bodyslams Igloo In Crazed Rampage" by Jerrod Balzer:

The creature smiled and stepped closer to him.  Jackson’s grip tightened on his rifle, but he didn’t want to make any sudden moves.  She bent forward with her hands on her knees so she could face him eye-to-eye.  He was too afraid to move and at the same time, exhilarated to see what would happen next.  She rubbed noses with him, an Eskimo’s kiss.

“Aw,” Jackson said, blushing. “You’re a sweetie aren’t you?”  He felt as though he’d just found an adorable puppy in the pet store.  She gripped her fingers on the front of his pants and pulled him closer for another nose rubbing.  Jackson was completely awestruck that this huge, powerful animal could be so passionate towards another species.  He felt one with nature right now.  Then she reached into his pants, ripped his penis out, and ran off with it, giggling.

Jackson wasn’t sure what happened at first, not until blood began to fill his pants and run down his legs.  He clutched his crotch and fell to the frozen ground, crying.  “Why?  Why?

From "Ritzy Party Ruined By Raging Pets!" by S.D. Hintz:

I stepped into the torchlight.  The surreal scene burrowed into my head like a drained drill, slow and painful.  My eyes followed the seven scaly, three-yard-long elephant trunks.  My jaw dropped when I saw what they were attached to.  I had expected huge, gray heads with floppy ears.  Instead the trunks were connected to veiny, blue-black sacs that dangled from the crotches of ten-foot-tall albino creatures with fur the likes of polar bears.  Their ruby eyes rolled back into their deep sockets as syrupy drool dripped from their bone-white fangs.  Their Cro-Magnon faces contorted and they trembled from head to huge feet in a fit of moans.

My scream died in my throat.  Their elephantine members twitched through the bars of the big cage and streamed forth greenish-yellow urine.  I looked left and spotted their target. Father knelt on the stone floor with his head bowed.  The Bigfoot - I thought of them as this due to the size of their feet – hosed him down and then sighed in unison as the last drops of urine dripped outside the cage.  Father slowly stood, soaked to the bone, and raised his arms toward the ceiling.

“Bless you, God’s Gift.”  He smiled at the monsters.  “You have anointed me.”